Miss Monnie Baudelaire

I had my second therapy session yesterday morning and it really cleared my head. By the time I’d left, I had decided I was going to end things with Craig for a plethora of reasons. The main one was we just didn’t want the same things in life. We loved all of the same things and shared opinions on almost everything. He made me feel things I’ve never felt before and supported my modeling and dancing and World of Warcraft, but that’s about all of the good there was. I never got bored of him, but it was only because I was constantly trying to please him and practically begging for his affection. I could never be openly honest with him about anything and as much as I tried to make myself trust him, I just couldn’t. Plus there were other things, more recently, like he just couldn’t make me orgasm during sex anymore. Plus he invited himself to my house at 1am for a booty call even after I told him to fuck off because I was trying to sleep.

So I got home and decided to see what bullshit his ex had been spinning about me on her Facebook and read the same “you’re a whore” crap as usual. It was great, it was just what I needed to give myself the courage to actually break things off. People can change, but it rarely happens. Cheaters will always be cheaters. He cheated on his ex with me (and a whole fucking tonne of other people) and he cheated on me with his ex.

What really shits me off is that one of my old WoW friends/guildies has been telling Craig’s ex a whole heap of crap about me and my relationship with Craig. It annoys me because I confided in her at the beginning of all of this and it was only thanks to one particular conversation with her where she told me you’re number one in life and you have to do what’s best for you and to go for it if it was going to make me happy that I decided to keep seeing him. The funny part is, I actually sat back in therapy and remembered what she said. I do have to do what’s best for me and being with Craig isn’t and will never be best for me. The statement that started the relationship and ended it. Irony?

Posted at 6:34pm #life

2010 New Years Resolutions

1. Get my drivers license.

2. Finish my sleeve.

3. Complete my course.

4. Move out.

Posted at 2:14am #new years resolutions #life

I realised last night why this is so difficult. It’s the first time a guy has ever ended things with me. I’m usually the heartbreaker.

Posted at 9:58pm #life

things are tough

but in reality if he doesn’t want me, there’s nothing I can do about it. Nothing I say will make him realise he’s making a mistake and the more I fight for him, the less he’ll want me. I guess I just have to give up. It’s over for good and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Posted at 12:03am #life #heartbreak

and it begins...

Well, after speaking to a few different people and thinking it over, I’ve decided to enroll in a course to gain Certificate III in Business Administration. This will provide me with an understanding for record keeping, payroll, spreadsheets and basically all the things you need to know to run your own business. After I’ve completed this course, I intend to do my Certificate in Editing and Proofreading. Big things are happening in my life.

On a less positive note, I had to pay my enrollment fee upfront, which has left me totally broke for Christmas. It will be reimbursed, but not for a few weeks. Fucking gay.

Posted at 11:25pm #life #study #education

the Australian government is retarded

If you don’t know already, I’m a full time carer for my mother who is old and frail. The government give me just enough money to survive and going out and working full days isn’t an option because I have to be home to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner, clean, shower my mum, be sent to pick up medication every second day and just generally be there for my mum to talk to and to make sure accidents don’t happen. It’s fucked. It’s stressful. I will be spending several years doing this and once it’s over, I get to explain it all to whoever my potential future employer may be. The government understands that this is retarded and to make up for how retarded it is, they pay for people in my situation to do correspondence courses from home, so that when they have the opportunity to go out into the workforce, they have marketable skills to take with them.

So, I’ve been planning on doing an editing and proof reading course. This would be great for me as anyone who knows me, knows I have an outstanding natural appreciation of the English language and would excel in this type of position. After completing the course, I would also be able to take on part time work from home. It really is an ideal course.

Guess what? The Australian government feels that, because Australia is a multicultural society, it would be UNFAIR and UNNECESSARY to have any English related courses on their list of approved and nationally recognised courses. In other words, they refuse to pay for it. They honestly believe that the English language is not important. Oh, but apparently make up artists and nail technicians are desperately needed in this country, so they’ll pay for that!

So this is the entire list of approved courses… Which one should I do?

ACCOUNTING & FINANCE COURSES:

Accounting (Advanced Diploma)

Accounting (Diploma)

Accounting (Statement of Attainment)

Bookkeeping (Statement of Attainment)

Financial Services (Accounting) (Cert IV)

Financial Services (Accounts Clerical) (Cert III)

Financial Services (Bookkeeping) (Cert IV)

BEAUTY THERAPY COURSES:

Cert II Make Up Services

Cert III Nail Technology